The Hidden Cost of Neglecting Relationships
Previous articles discussed the value of your people network and how relationships naturally weaken over time when they are not maintained.
Previous articles discussed the value of your people network and how relationships naturally weaken over time when they are not maintained.
That raises an important question:
What does neglect actually cost us?
Most of us have experienced this personally. It might be easier to see when a close friend goes cold after a period of neglect. We can see it and we can feel the loss of contact or trust.
Professional relationships are similar, but it is much more difficult to see the cost. When these relationships fade, there is usually no dramatic event.
No argument.
No confrontation.
No obvious loss.
Instead, opportunities quietly disappear.
A person forgets to recommend you.
An introduction never happens.
A conversation never takes place.
A possibility never appears.
Because these losses are invisible, they are easy to underestimate.
Yet they may be some of the most expensive costs we experience professionally.
Lost Opportunities
Many opportunities come through relationships.
Jobs, customers, partnerships, speaking engagements, business opportunities, and advice often come through people who know us rather than strangers.
When relationships weaken, so does the likelihood that someone thinks of us when an opportunity appears.
The opportunity may still exist.
We are simply no longer connected to it.
Lost Introductions
One of the most powerful aspects of a network is access to people we do not yet know. Introductions happen when someone believes two people should know each other.
It might simply sound like, “This is my friend Nancy. You two should know each other.”
A single introduction can change a career. It can lead to a new customer, a mentor, a business partner, or a lifelong friend.
This was true in my career. My company never spent a lot on advertising or fancy suits. We landed business through referrals and introductions. Looking back, I received some key introductions that ultimately landed important clients and opened entirely new markets for us.
That usually requires trust and familiarity. If a relationship has faded, that introduction becomes less likely.
Not because anyone has ill intentions.
Because we are no longer top of mind.
Lost Referrals
This one is subtle because it is similar to an introduction. A referral is a specific introduction where someone says, “This person might be able to help you,” and often it carries a recommendation of your services, products, expertise, or reputation.
Referrals are often the result of confidence.
Someone believes you can help another person.
Someone trusts your expertise.
Someone is willing to put their reputation behind a recommendation.
That level of confidence is strengthened through ongoing relationships.
When connections weaken, referrals often decline.
People become less certain.
They know less about what you are doing.
They are less confident making a recommendation.
Eventually, referrals may stop altogether.
Lost Knowledge
We might not think about our people networks from the standpoint of knowledge. Even if you only have a small network of friends at this point, think about all the knowledge contained within that group. Experiences, lessons learned, insights, and opportunities are shared every day in ways we often take for granted.
People share experiences.
Lessons learned.
Industry insights.
New opportunities.
Changing trends.
Many of the most valuable things we learn never come from books or articles. They come from conversations.
As relationships fade, these information channels begin to disappear.
The result is often subtle.
We become less informed.
Less connected.
Less aware of what is happening around us.
This lack of awareness can be particularly costly when we miss important developments in our industry, community, or profession.
Lost Trust
In the end, trust may be the most valuable thing relationships create.
Trust takes time to build.
It is reinforced through repeated interaction.
People learn who we are.
What we value.
How we behave.
What they can expect from us.
When relationships become dormant, trust does not vanish overnight. But it can weaken.
People become less certain.
Memories fade.
Confidence decreases.
Eventually, the relationship can feel almost like starting over.
The Cost You Never See
The most dangerous costs are often the ones we never see.
The job opportunity we were never told about.
The introduction that never occurred.
The referral that went elsewhere.
The advice we never received.
The partnership that never formed.
These losses rarely announce themselves. We do not receive a notification telling us what we missed. We simply continue forward, unaware that an opportunity quietly passed us by.
That is what makes relationship neglect so costly.
The losses are invisible.
And because they are invisible, they are easy to underestimate.
A Different Way to Think About Relationships
Think about potential when you consider your people networks.
Every healthy relationship contains possibility.
A future introduction.
A future opportunity.
A future partnership.
A future friendship.
The purpose of maintaining relationships is not to collect favors or keep score. It is to preserve the possibility that comes from staying connected to people who matter.
When relationships are neglected, we rarely lose something we already have.
More often, we lose something that might have happened next. That is the hidden cost of neglect.