I Hate Networking Too
Whenever I talk about building a people network, someone eventually says, “I hate networking.”
Whenever I talk about building a people network, someone eventually says, “I hate networking.”
Honestly… I understand.
I don’t particularly like the word either. Somewhere along the way, networking came to mean collecting business cards, making shallow introductions, and treating people like opportunities. That’s not what I’m talking about.
People are not vending machines that dispense business opportunities.
They are people.
The good news is this: you already have a people network. These are the people you can call when you need help, and asking doesn’t feel awkward because of the relationship you have.
The people network you have, no matter how small, was developed naturally over time. Sometimes it happened because you happened to be in the same place as other people. The people you see at the comic book store, fellow students, fellow coffee lovers, fans of a team you like and people you interact with online.
You don’t think of these people as contacts. You think of them as people you care about. You stay in touch. You celebrate their successes. You help when they need you, and you know they’ll do the same for you.
The question is how to do this intentionally. You shouldn't have to depend on accidental proximity to develop new relationships. We can miss out on meaningful potential connections because we only meet them in passing.
No, we won’t become close friends with everyone we meet—who has time? But we can choose to treat people with the same respect, honesty, and genuine interest that we show our friends. We can intentionally invest in keeping those relationships healthy instead of reaching out only when we need something.
You can know someone without being their best friend. You can respect someone without spending every weekend with them. You can care about someone's success without knowing every detail of their personal life.
That is where a people network comes in.
A people network is simply the collection of relationships you have built throughout your life—people you know, people who know you, and people with whom you have some degree of trust and mutual respect.
Some relationships will be close.
Some will be professional.
Some may be people you haven't talked to in years.
Some may be people you met only recently.
And some may become important relationships you never expected.
The goal isn't to turn all of these people into friends.
The goal is to keep the relationships alive.
Just keeping in touch is powerful because relationships develop over time.
A quick congratulations on a new job, sharing something you think they would enjoy, or simply asking how they are doing can keep a relationship alive. These small interactions don't require a lot of time, but they can make a big difference.
There are other articles here that can help you get your mind right and then show you how to do it well. I have always believed that if you first get your mind right, everything else becomes easier.
You don't have to become someone who loves "networking".
Just be human. Treat everyone as a person. Everyone.