How To Start Building a Network
Many people assume there is a moment when they begin building a network.
Many people assume there is a moment when they begin building a network.
In reality, most networks begin long before we consciously think about them.
The people we work with, attend school with, volunteer alongside, participate in hobbies with, or simply spend time around often become part of our network over time. Few people set out to intentionally build a network when they are young. They simply meet people, share experiences, and develop relationships.
Years later, they may discover that those relationships have become something much larger.
You Probably Already Have a Network
If you have ever worked with a team, attended school, belonged to a club, volunteered for a cause, participated in a hobby, played sports, or held a job, you have already begun building a network.
The people around you today may remain part of your life for years to come.
A former coworker may become a friend.
A classmate may become someone you reconnect with years later.
Someone you volunteered with may one day offer advice you need to hear.
Someone you once helped may someday help you.
Someone you met through a hobby may introduce you to an entirely different community.
Most networks do not appear overnight. They grow gradually as relationships develop over time.
The question is not whether you have started building a network.
The question is whether you recognize it.
Relationships Often Begin with Shared Experiences
Not every person we meet becomes an important relationship.
Many people pass briefly through our lives.
Others remain connected for years.
Often, the difference begins with a shared experience.
Perhaps you worked together on a difficult project.
Maybe you played on the same team.
You volunteered together.
You attended a conference together.
You solved a problem together.
Shared experiences create stories, memories, and familiarity. Over time, they can create trust.
Many of our most meaningful relationships begin this way—not through deliberate networking, but through life itself.
Networks Grow One Relationship at a Time
One of the interesting things about networks is that they often grow naturally.
You meet one person.
That person introduces you to someone else.
You become part of a group.
Someone in that group introduces you to another community.
The network expands one relationship at a time.
Most people never set out to create a large network. Instead, they develop relationships with people they enjoy, trust, and respect. Over time, those relationships connect them to other people and communities.
This is one reason a people network can grow far beyond the people you initially set out to meet.
Every relationship has the potential to lead to another relationship.
Curiosity Is Your Superpower
Many people assume the best relationship builders are the most outgoing people in the room.
In my experience, the people who seem best at developing relationships are often the most curious.
They ask questions.
They listen.
They remember details.
They take a genuine interest in other people's experiences and perspectives.
People appreciate being heard.
Curiosity often creates stronger connections than charisma. You might be able to become more outgoing, but you can definitely become more curious.
You don't have to become someone you're not to build relationships.
You can start by becoming more interested in the people already around you.
Building a Network Should Be a Part of Living Life
If your life doesn't naturally put you around many people, you may need to make some changes.
Join something.
Volunteer.
Participate in a group.
Find places where you can regularly interact with other people.
But don't think of that as “networking.”
Make it part of your life.
The goal isn't to collect people. It's to develop relationships with people you enjoy, respect, and find interesting.
That's what makes a network authentic. It grows out of the life you're already living rather than becoming another task on your calendar.
The strongest networks are rarely assembled. They are developed.
Let's Get Practical
I'm not going to tell you to “go meet ten new people.” That is not the way to get started.
Start with the people you already know. The questions should simply be:
- Who have you worked with?
- Who did you go to school with?
- Who have you volunteered with?
- Who have you played sports with?
- Who have you helped?
- Who has helped you?
- Who are the leaders in your local community?
- Who have you enjoyed getting to know?
Then ask yourself:
Which of these relationships would I like to develop further?
You cannot know today which relationships will become important in the future.
For me, it was easy to meet other people in my industry because we had a lot in common. Then I looked for people who knew something I wanted to learn and simply asked for their help. I also tended to gravitate toward people I found interesting.
Your experience may be different. You may need to put more effort into meeting people or be more intentional about developing the relationships you already have.
That's okay.
You don't need to build a network from scratch. You've probably been building one your entire life.
The next step is simply to become more intentional about the relationships you already have—and open to the new ones that come along.