How Relationships Open Doors
Why professional relationships lead to career opportunities, trusted referrals, and long-term success.
Every day, people make decisions about who to hire, who to recommend, who to buy from, and who to ask for advice.
Those decisions are rarely made at random.
People naturally choose those they know and trust.
Later in my career, while traveling in Africa, I had the privilege of mentoring teenagers growing up in poverty. Their challenges were very different from those of college graduates in America, so I was careful not to assume that my experiences or advice would automatically apply. I spent far more time listening than speaking.
After listening and learning, I came to believe there is one principle that is nearly universal.
Trust travels through relationships.
We prefer to work with people we know—or with people recommended by someone we already trust.
As Bob Burg wisely wrote:
“All things being equal, people will do business with, and refer business to, those people they know, like, and trust.”
Most of us recognize this instinctively because we live it every day. We read reviews before buying products online. We ask friends for recommendations before hiring a contractor. We trust people and sources that have earned our confidence.
The same principle applies to our careers.
During my career as a CEO, I reviewed thousands of resumes. Many candidates had similar degrees, similar GPAs, and comparable technical skills. When that happened, one thing often made the difference.
A trusted connection.
If someone I respected recommended a candidate, I paid closer attention. If the candidate had completed an internship with an organization I knew, that experience immediately carried more weight. It wasn’t simply because they had gained experience—it was because another organization had already placed its trust in them.
Experience matters.
But relationships often determine whether someone gets the opportunity to demonstrate that experience.
This is one reason internships are so valuable. Most students think the greatest benefit is what they’ll learn on the job. That’s certainly important, but there’s another benefit that may be even more valuable over the course of a career.
The people.
Every supervisor, coworker, mentor, customer, and fellow intern becomes part of your professional story. Years later, those relationships may open doors you never expected.
Your professional network isn’t something you build when you need a job. It’s something you build throughout your career, one relationship at a time.
Some experiences naturally build trust more quickly than others. The best way to get to know someone is to spend time with them face to face. In particular, sharing a meal ("breaking bread") and working together are two of the most powerful trust builders.
Give people the opportunity to develop trust in you, and give yourself the opportunity to develop trust in them. That's how relationships open doors.
This article is just the beginning. Throughout this blog I explore how to build, maintain, and strengthen professional relationships. If you'd like to learn more, I hope you'll keep reading.