Connecting Online
Many people struggle with reaching out electronically because they are unsure how much to write. Often, people write far too much while trying to answer…
Many people struggle with reaching out electronically because they are unsure how much to write. Often, people write far too much while trying to answer questions nobody has asked.
My advice is simple:
For goodness sake, be brief.
No matter how interesting your prose, people don’t want to read an overly long message from someone they don’t know. Most of us don’t want to read an overly long message from someone we know well!
Respect people’s time. Introduce yourself, explain why you are reaching out, ask your question, and stop.
Long introductions rarely improve your chances of getting a response. Most people appreciate clarity far more than length.
A short, thoughtful message is usually far more effective than a long one.
Know Your Audience
You have probably heard the term “cold call,” which could also apply to a cold email or cold message. This means you are starting from scratch with the other person.
A warm introduction is different. It is usually a situation where someone you know has suggested that you make contact and has given you permission to use their name. A warm introduction is much easier because trust has already begun to form.
You can also improve your chances if you know of a legitimate common connection. Nothing creepy or overly personal. It might be mentioning that you attended the same college, belong to the same professional organization, or follow the same sports team. Just make sure whatever you reference is publicly available information.
When I write an introduction, my main objective is to give the person enough reason to want to respond. That's it.
One of the most common mistakes people make is trying to answer every possible question in their first message. They explain their background, their company, their goals, their experience, and every reason the recipient should talk to them.
The result is often a long message that gets ignored.
A better approach is to provide just enough information for the recipient to understand who you are and why you are reaching out.
If they are interested, they will ask for more.
Remember, the purpose of the first message is not to tell your entire story. The purpose is to start a conversation.
Make the Ask Easy
The easiest message to ignore is one that requires a lot of work.
If you are asking for a meeting, suggest a short conversation.
If you are asking a question, make it specific.
If you are asking for advice, keep the request reasonable.
People are much more likely to respond when they immediately understand what you need from them.
A vague request often creates uncertainty. A simple request creates clarity.
Respect Their Time
One of the most effective ways to improve your communication is to think about the message from the other person’s perspective.
They are busy.
Their inbox is crowded.
They have competing priorities.
The easier you make it for them to understand who you are, why you are reaching out, and what you are asking for, the more likely they are to respond.
Being brief is not about withholding information. It is about respecting the other person’s time.
If the conversation continues, there will be plenty of opportunities to share more details later.
For the first message, less is often more.
The goal is not to send the perfect message. The goal is to begin a relationship.